Daily we are faced with situations where we feel uncertain. As a parent, you may be feeling unsettled about a situation with your child and doubting the next disciplinary step. As a partner or a spouse, your relationship may be in the balance, stirring unsettling feelings. When the future is uncertain, we lay awake at night, wrestling with our selfs regarding our next step. Wouldn’t life be so much easier if we could be sure footed and act with consistent boldness?
I am currently packing my bags, re-assuring myself that I have my passport and fumbling with my laptop bag to ensure all is ready for my trip to Harvard Business School. I will be surrounded by men and woman from across the globe to discuss and dissect the Harvard approach to business. I am sure Boston will be beautiful this time of year, with the Harvard campus dressed in snow. I am excited to meet new acquaintances and challenge myself with new business mindsets, but right here right now, I cannot shed the feeling of uncertainty, doubt and feel a bit swamped with all the preparations needed.
Recognising these feeling within in myself, I assured myself once again of the benefits these feelings contain. In this post, I would like to share these valuable insights with you as well as a method to balance yourself again.
Well, any effort to maximise your potential and ability is a good thing. Daniel Goleman, author of the best-selling book, Emotional Intelligence.
- It encourages us to use the opportunity to learn, grow and empower ourselves.
When parents book a consultation with me regarding uncertainty with their children, I am able to teach them new ways to assist their children. They become empowered because of their child’s distress.
When we feel uncertain about a topic, the topic becomes our new ‘school.’ Whether it is business, family, finances, health, social, mental or spiritual, seeking new knowledge will not only enrich you but also empower you to deal with life.
- It forces us to invest time, energy and money in finding our certainty and discovering what makes us feel confident and sure.
I spent most of January preparing for my Harvard trip. Completing assignments, researching new business concepts as well us brushing up familiar business theories. All this effort to ensure myself that I am equipped for the course. If I had felt confident about my knowledge and ability from the start, I would have been slack in my preparations.
- We allow ourselves to ask for help.
Feeling unsure about the upcoming course, I emailed previous attendees. This allowed me to draw from their experiences and harness their recommendations. If I had felt certain about my own ability I would not have asked for help.
- We turn to a higher power for guidance and illumination.
How many times have you turned to God or a higher power you believe in and you asked for guidance in your moments of uncertainty and vulnerability? Knowing you are not alone lifts the burden and you feel supported.
- We stay humble.
Humility is a beautiful characteristic we find attractive. Arrogance, on the other hand, is obnoxious and repellant. It is through humility that we grow and empower ourselves.
- We become persistent in our actions.
The universe applauds action, not thought. Only actions will lead to results. Contemplation on its own will lead nowhere. As Scott M Peck said, “Without discipline, we can achieve nothing.” Being unsure is an opportunity for us to persist in action, in order to ensure certainty and confidence. I once heard a wise man say, “Emotions follow action” and not vice versa.
- You develop consciousness and awareness of your heart’s desire.
With all the focussed energy spent on regaining certainty, we discover what our true desires are, what we value most in life and what we should be aspiring for.
- We draw closer to loved ones.
Addressing a stressful situation or seeking clarity can draw us closer to the people we love most. Discovering how to assist your child will draw you closer to them. Seeking out new knowledge, knowing your spouse is supporting you, draws you closer to each other.
How to balance yourself in uncertain times
One of the key skills in the Demartini Method is to regain balance. This method is based on the principle that life is always in balance. For every low there is a high, for every negative, there is a positive.
When we feel anxious, uncertain and doubtful it is because we are too focused on the negative. To obtain balance we need to open ourselves to the positive aspects regarding the specific challenge. This is why it so important to reframe your mindset using the above list. Take every negative aspect about your doubt and try to find the positive aspect lurking just behind it.
Once you have done this, and truly can see the positive, you will become overwhelmed with gratitude for the challenge that set on the uncertainty in the first place.
We trust you have found this article helpful. If you are struggling to find the positive aspects regarding your distress why not book a session with Ilze?
(Phone: +27 60 743 4143, Email: firstname.lastname@example.org)
When we concentrate our thoughts in the direction of our desired objectives, we pave the way for great achievement.
Dr. John Demartini